yes yes im supposed to be doing my cg1101 tut.
but i have no more brain left to concentrate, unfortunately...
and i seriously cant make head or tail of whats going on anymore.
hais. lets just wait for tmr's tutorial...
lucky my tutor is not bad. :3
was talking to my laoban.
thinking of a lot of things. (yes i know im supposed to be doing my cg1101)
of the past,
bad things,
good things,
things i have done wrong,
things i wished i never did,
people i wished i never had met.
and things i wished i never got involved in.
i would love a time machine.
to go back to correct all these mistakes,
to undo all the wrong things,
to make lotsa things ok again.
but unfortunately,
what i would have lost in the process is my learning experiences.
what i learnt through the falls, the mistakes, the tears, the pain.
what made me ME.
instead of the same old person i had been in the past.
and im still learning thru all the pain and tears and falls.
even now.
so i guess its not such a bad thing.
like now,
i learning all over again how to let go of things, of people
to evaluate what is more worth my time and effort,
and what have i wasted on that is of no use.
like i tink the 2 mths that i wasted from may
for someone was totally a waste of time.
i realised yesterday.
or maybe its wrong to say i learnt nothing.
i learnt a lot.
how to let go.
who are my true frens who will truely stick by me when things happen.
how important i was to that someone after all.
and all these are a part of me.
maybe the next time i pick myself i will be a better person.
or rather i hope to be a better person.
i told u i will be waiting.
its not that i dont want to wait anymore,
or of anything else.
but i have lost the chance to wait,
when things change,
when you got busy,
when i didnt seem as important anymore.
or rather,
when i was no longer of importance anymore.
i didnt want to let go,
nor to give up.
but by the looks of it i dont have much of a choice anymore.
the decision doesnt lie on me anymore.
